Seven

The word I want to say is a harsh word, slightly inappropriate and starts with the seventh letter of the alphabet. I am sorta at the point where if I had the liberty, I would go around and just say to people, Fuck off. I know that this would lead to problems at the work place and in my personal life but sometimes the movie playing in my head is of the scenario: people telling me stuff and me replying, "fuck off" or "shut the fuck up" and then walking away. Like when Shane talked to me today, I wanted to say, "shut the fuck up" and walk away. When my colleague told me something completely stupid, I wanted to say, "shut the fuck up, you're an idiot." but decided that wasn't appropriate to be saying at work. When he approached me later, I wanted to say, "fuck off, asshole" but only waved. When I caught a kid surfing MySpace today and denied it, I wanted to say "Shut the fuck up, I saw you" instead I said that I saw his MySpace page up and asked if he was calling me a liar. Thankfully I am technologically savvy enough to navigate FireFox to figure out how to prove what he was surfing and when (he closed the tab). After that, I told him I wasn't an idiot and I didn't appreaciate him lying to me.

I am wondering now, how many people must think I am an idiot. I get lied too more often than not. I wonder if people think I got off the boat yesterday or something. Do I really look that stupid? Or is it really, are they that stupid to think I would believe their lies. Hmm...